More on happiness

A few days ago I posted a quote from Emerson about happiness. I want to elaborate on the idea of happiness and argue that it is a false idol that causes us many ills.

In contemporary American society, we have a fixation on happiness. The message underlying much advertising is the promise of happiness. The cartoonish Happy Face has become the logo of our times. Even the concept of happiness is embedded in the founding of the nation, for the Declaration of Independence contains this sentence drafted originally by Thomas Jefferson, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

We talk about happiness, we sing about happiness (McFarrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy), we are bombarded by advertisements promoting happiness through products or services being peddled. Yet, what is happiness, really? Going back to Jefferson’s words, “Life” is something we can understand. “Liberty” is less clear, but for most of us, it implies some level of self-determination and free will. “Happiness” is much more vague. We understand what it means to be unhappy, and many people are stuck in a state of continual unhappiness, which psychologists term depression. In contrast, happiness is at best a tenuous and transitory emotion that briefly appears and then evaporates as the routine of living presses upon us.

Because of the vagueness of the concept, Happiness (to capitalize it as Jefferson did) is a trap, the false idol to which I referred, and Jefferson was wrong in including its “pursuit” among our “unalienable Rights.” Happiness is much like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, an illusion that can never be attained.

I realize I am being a bit arrogant in questioning Jefferson, but evidence abounds in support of my point. In our pursuit of Happiness, we are distracted with acquiring things, seeking pleasure, and filling our lives with entertainment and pseudo-luxuries. Nevertheless, the more we have, the more we want. And there is always something more, something new, improved, or interesting to entice us. Our lives are overflowing with things—things we own, things we do, things we want. We are drowning in our things; our possessions possess us. Our garages are too full to hold our cars; our schedules are too full to allow us to savor and celebrate the quality of the day or even to think. Further, the plethora of these things discounts their very value—often, by the time we get them home from Wal-Mart or in the mail from Amazon, our purchases have lost their sheen. Buyer’s remorse is more common than the common cold.

Wordsworth captured it in his famous lines:
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;

I think we would have been better served had Jefferson phrased his famous sentence this way: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Contentment.” By contentment, I refer to the emotional state of understanding the trajectory of one’s life, of balancing the status quo of “being” with the possibility of “becoming.” What I mean is that because happiness is by its nature undefinable and ephemeral, we should be aware of, seek out, and appreciate the kernels of the good and the beautiful in our everyday lives—for example, the loveliness of a fall morning, a call from a friend just to say hello, the neighbor who waves to us every time we drive by. We also should open ourselves to opportunities to grow and engage the world, even if those opportunities are limited.  I realize that is a fuzzy concept, so I offer the example of old people who have attained some level of contentment. Despite the obvious nearness of death, they savor each day and seek a level of intimacy with life and are open to moments of joy.

Another aspect of contentment is community, to be part of something bigger than ourselves. Community could be family, friends, neighborhood, church, workplace, or social group. We often think of ourselves as independent individuals, yet it is the communities to which we belong that nurture us and give meaning to who we are. Without community, we become vulnerable to isolation, loneliness, and ignorance. Community offers us opportunities to interact with others, i.e., for “being.” Community also allows us to opportunities to grow, to “becoming,” which is integral to contentment.

I close with the quote from Emerson once again: The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Enough for now.